Today we got a check in the mail for our plane tickets to India. Many of you followed that saga on our blog post back in May. Would we get our money back? Not? Oh...I was trying so hard to keep perspective back then..... I thought I would feel relieved when this day finally came. Instead I find myself teary and feel sad for no logical reason. Maybe it's because the chapter of our epic summer abroad is over. Instead, we got a whole mess of crud we didn't want. Everything we thought we would have gotten to experience together as a family got flipped upside down.
So many of you joined us for Karl's service...about 900 in fact. We knew Labor Day would be hard for some to make it. The service is still online if you would like to see it. The day was exactly what we wanted it to be. We wanted God and Karl to be honored. It was truly a celebration of the most humble, kind, generous man. It was filled with laughter, worship, memories, chocolate and root beer. He would have been embarrassed but he would have loved it.
The support we are experiencing is indescribable. Meals four days a week, cards and letters, fundraisers from Burger King Oro Valley, youth groups, and Scouts. People are reaching out to care for us in real and personal ways... I feel like each act of kindness deserves adequate recognition and thanks. Please know how much they mean to us. We pray we are worthy of your love and attention. We pray that what you are pouring into us, we can also pour into others around us. We are also thankful to our new friend Simone at KGUN9. She has done three stories on our family. Here they are if you would like to see them.
The prayer vigil the day after the accident
Skylar's Recovery
Karl's Service
The prayer vigil the day after the accident
Skylar's Recovery
Karl's Service
Skylar is recovering. She had surgery again on September 11 to put plates and pins in her collarbone. It's now much better than it was.
She continues to see multiple eye specialists. Her retina has completely reattached itself in all areas. The doctors have no explanation. Unfortunately she had damage to her optic nerve and the third nerve. We have to wait at least six months to see how much they recover. The optic nerve has to miraculously get better for her to have any kind of useful vision. Right now she can make out the big E but it is dark. Because the third nerve is affected, her pupil is off center which causes phantom vision. It is disconcerting to see two of everything. Because of the facial nerve paralysis, Skylar could not close her eye or move anything on the left. Now she can close her eye about 95% of the way. Until she can close it 100% we have to keep it moist by applying erythromycin six times a day and keeping it taped shut. She will probably have two surgeries in January -first on the muscle and then on the eyelid. She is hoping to get it looking cosmetically like a normal eye and also hoping there is some function to it. This is all miraculous since the surgeon told us he never expected her to see out of it again. Pray with us for both of these things- function and appearance.
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| before |
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| after |
She continues to see multiple eye specialists. Her retina has completely reattached itself in all areas. The doctors have no explanation. Unfortunately she had damage to her optic nerve and the third nerve. We have to wait at least six months to see how much they recover. The optic nerve has to miraculously get better for her to have any kind of useful vision. Right now she can make out the big E but it is dark. Because the third nerve is affected, her pupil is off center which causes phantom vision. It is disconcerting to see two of everything. Because of the facial nerve paralysis, Skylar could not close her eye or move anything on the left. Now she can close her eye about 95% of the way. Until she can close it 100% we have to keep it moist by applying erythromycin six times a day and keeping it taped shut. She will probably have two surgeries in January -first on the muscle and then on the eyelid. She is hoping to get it looking cosmetically like a normal eye and also hoping there is some function to it. This is all miraculous since the surgeon told us he never expected her to see out of it again. Pray with us for both of these things- function and appearance.
Skylar has gone back to school this week to visit her classes and friends. She is officially on Homebound status and her journalism teacher comes to the house to tutor her in AP Lit, Economics, and Journalism. She was cleared to read only two weeks ago. We will see how the recovery is going as we determine when she will return to campus full time.
Hannah is doing well with her modified schedule. She is on hand when Skylar has PT and Speech therapies at home in the afternoons. She turned 16 on September 8th. Our dear friends threw her a surprise party that weekend. We also had dinner at mom and dads. It was a bittersweet celebration. She is excited to get her license in the next month or so.
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| all the cousins help Hannah celebrate |
Kody is enjoying 5th grade. He also began his last year of Cub Scouts. This is difficult since Karl was his den leader for the last four years. We're thankful for Roger and Eric who have taken the den. We will continue on for the Arrow of Light in the spring. This year I got to help Kody make his boat for the Raingutter Regatta. We're making plans for the Weblo camp out at the end of the month.
Kody's dog, Bandit, had two big medical issues this month. A few weeks ago he licked a briar out of his fur called a foxtail. These are nasty little stickers that get stuck in your socks when you live in the desert. The foxtail burred into his throat and then abscessed out the front of his neck. The abscess at first looked like a rattlesnake bite. Doc Baker was able to remove it so he could recover before the next surgery. Right before the accident we found out Bandit had a large tumor that needed to come off his tail. Last week Doc Baker performed a tailectomy on our guy. Bandit was on the same pain meds as Skylar for several days! He is excited to get the fancy cone of shame off tomorrow when they remove his sutures.
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| Learning to use a sander to make the boat |
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| Kody, Landen, and Hayden or Huey, Dewey, and Louie as Papa calls them |
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| Kody and his buddy Jackson |
Kody's dog, Bandit, had two big medical issues this month. A few weeks ago he licked a briar out of his fur called a foxtail. These are nasty little stickers that get stuck in your socks when you live in the desert. The foxtail burred into his throat and then abscessed out the front of his neck. The abscess at first looked like a rattlesnake bite. Doc Baker was able to remove it so he could recover before the next surgery. Right before the accident we found out Bandit had a large tumor that needed to come off his tail. Last week Doc Baker performed a tailectomy on our guy. Bandit was on the same pain meds as Skylar for several days! He is excited to get the fancy cone of shame off tomorrow when they remove his sutures.
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| Bandit's Fancy Cone of Shame |
Since we've been home I've been juggling the many new tasks before us: financial paperwork, legal paperwork, doctor visits, therapist visits, medical and insurance switchovers... So many things totally out of my comfort zone. Most days my brain and my heart are wiped.
Last week was the worst. I felt I was in a dark hole with no hope. I cried out to God begging for a sign that we would all find joy and hope soon. That very day I found an online group of Jesus-loving widows. They're on the same journey trusting God for a path they didn't choose. I am excited to connect with them at a retreat in November. A glimmer of hope.....The next day my friend Kelli gave me a Willow Tree figurine called Angel of Hope. How like our God to give me something so tangible to let me know He hears me when I cry!
Then yesterday I nearly lost it in Sprouts and Walmart. Everything I saw was a trigger-something I knew I should get for Karl. I got to the register and couldn't find my debit card. By the time I got home I was losing it. I brought groceries in and my fridge and freezer were warm. As in..melted ice cream and water filled ice bucket... I cried. And then I called mom and dad. As soon as they got there Dad fixed the fridge and Hannah found my debit card. In the middle of all of it, my friend Lil texted and asked how I was. I ranted back to her and told her I needed grace to get through the day. This morning Lil texted and asked if Grace showed up. Today was a much better day and we had dinner with friends. Dee gave me a Willow Tree figurine called Healing Grace. Hmmm... Grace did show up. Now I have Hope and Grace on my kitchen counter....they're also working their way into my heart.
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| Grace and Hope |
On the way to Karl's service, the kids and I decided we are going to Disneyland for fall break. Nothing like the Magic Kingdom with good friends to help us move forward. Our friends are also facing tough, tough battles as they prepare for chemo. Mark's cancer battle mirrors the battle Karl only just started this summer. Same tests, same docs, same treatments. We will walk alongside the Flemings with a little experience and we will repeat together the words from Habakuk 3: even when there are no figs on the trees and no grapes on the vine- yet will we praise Him. We may not have figs or grapes..... but we do have Grace and Hope.
