2015... Yet This I Call To Mind

Lamentations 3:19-23

 I remember my affliction and my wandering,

 the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,

    and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind

    and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

 

They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

Sitting in the waiting room for Skylar's 8th surgery.  Yesterday was Christmas.  Talk about switching gears....It's been over a year since our last update.  It was necessary to take a break from sharing so publicly.  We needed time to adjust to things without advertising every little up and down.

Last year we hosted Thanksgiving and it was quite difficult for all of us.  One of Skylar's friends, Andrea, moved in with us the day after Thanksgiving.  Her family had to move to Alabama for work and she needed to finish her senior year.  We put bunk beds up and welcomed her to our new "normal". 

Skylar became a candidate for a Bone Anchored Hearing Assist device made by Cochlear.  She had surgery in early December of 2014 to implant a magnet in the left side of her skull.  After a month of healing, she was fitted with the BAHA device.  It is a small transmitter that attaches to the outside of her head with a magnet.  It transmits all the sounds from her left side through the bone in her skull to her right ear.  It is not like regular hearing but it is better than hearing no sounds from the left side.  It's also blue tooth capable so she can stream music through her skull to her ear without headphones. 

Last year, we felt like we needed to make a change for Christmas so we spent a week in Orlando visiting Universal and Disney parks.  Great time for the four of us to connect and do something we had always wanted to do.  Santa even managed to bring stockings to our hotel. We even got to spend two days with our cousins Linda, Emily, and Benjamin at Epcot and Magic Kingdom.

butter beer at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Universal Studios

Masons and Lombardos at Epcot

As school started second semester, I continued my leave from teaching.  I'm so thankful to Sandy Wilson who taught the fall semester and Heidi Radtke who taught the spring semester.  My Mutant Ninja Frogs were in good hands.

 My students were in good hands last year.

During Rodeo Break, all four kids and I drove to California and picked up my new hot pick GTS300 Vespa.  She's got white ghost flames all over.  My friends said she was a Barbie scooter.  I disagree.  Do I look like a Barbie scooter kind of girl?  She's got flames!  She's a BA Barbie scooter....  So her name is BABS. 

Last year Karl and I planned to go to Hawaii for our 20th anniversary.  We purchased a trip through Hilton.  Since we couldn't go last summer because of India....and then we couldn't go in the fall because of chemo....we booked it for spring break.  I took the kids and went anyway.  We spent a week in Oahu.  Pearl Harbor, Polynesian Cultural Center, Dole Plantation, Diamondhead, Manoa Falls, surfing lessons and paddle boarding on the North Shore, and shaved ice....  It was hard. It was beautiful. 

The week after spring break in Hawaii, Hannah performed in the school musical Footloose.  She spent hours and hours rehearsing the songs and the dance moves.

In April Skylar was able to go to the prom with Hadley and her friends.  They all came to our house for pictures before going out for the night.  In April I also got my first ink.  Yes.  That kind of ink.  I had planned to get a tattoo when I turned 50 but it seemed silly to wait.  Kinnette was able to get Karl's hand, finger, and thumbprints after the accident.  When I saw the thumbs overlapping in a heart, I knew it had to be part of my ink.  I added the inscription from his wedding band:  My beloved, My friend...a verse from Song of Solomon.  The kids also each chose a color of a hibiscus. It's meaningful and beautiful.

the prom gang

Skylar and Jordan

first ink

School wrapped up for all three kids.  Andrea's parents returned for a grand graduation party for Skylar, Jordan, and Andrea.  Skylar was one of the senior class speakers at Ironwood Ridge.  Our local station covered her speech and it was picked up by several stations across the country.
Skylar's graduation speech news story

The full video of Skylar's graduation speech

We are thankful to our friend and professional photographer Amy O who took all of Skylar's senior pictures at our home this spring.

Within a day of graduating, Skylar and Hannah were on a plane to New York City.  Our friend Lynn showed them the New York life including all public transportation, bagels, cheesecake, Central Park, Times Square and several Broadway shows.  Our friend Tregoney who is currently performing in Wicked gave them backstage tours, introductions to the Phantom himself, and signed masks by the entire cast of Phantom.  The next day they saw Gigi and had a backstage tour there.  The girls were giddy. 

When they returned from New York we had one day to prepare for our family trip.  We started in Phoenix at the Comicon.  We went with Andrea's family and got to spend some time together.  She returned to Alabama with them and the kids and I loaded up Belle and Lucky, our toy hauler, and headed out.  We stopped in Holbrook, Santa Fe and Denver KOAs.  Everyone had a job to do as we set up camp, unloaded the motorcycle and scooter, and fixed dinner.  The next morning, we'd pack up and hit the road again, listening to audio books together.

We stopped n Rapid City, South Dakota to visit our friends, the O'Dells.  They graciously let us hook up next to their home.  Skylar and I roared into Sturgis, South Dakota on the motorcycle.  It was a bucket list ride for me.  Then later in the day, Goldie-my friend and partner in crime from Grand Canyon- and I explored the Black Hills.  We saw Mt. Rushmore and Crazy Horse.  The weather was perfect.  The hills were green and rolling.  The conversation was enveloping.  I even bought a new leather jacket in the same store I bought one for Kody when he was two. 

The kids and I reluctantly left the O'Dells and headed north.  We stopped overnight in Bismarck before turning east for Grand Forks.  We joined Kristi and Lee at the East Grand Forks State Park.  The kids stayed with Sandy and Earl and Uncle Mark.  We enjoyed several days at Maple Lake together.  We also celebrated Earl's 80th birthday with Mexican food and a cake commemorating Skylar's graduation, Earl and Meta birthdays, and the Nelsons anniversary.  Lots of writing on that cake. It was hard to be in a place Karl loved so much.  It was also good to be there.  We will always be connected to it. 

The whole family ventured to western North Dakota.  The Mason family has roots in a town west of Medora called Sentinel Butte.  In the rolling, grassy hills next to a train trestle, is a very small cemetery containing memorials to Karl's great grandparents, grandparents, and great uncle.  His parents picked out a flat stone that we placed at the foot of their raised stone.  Our family buried some of his ashes under his stone, drank root beer, and ate Widman's chippers.  I felt peaceful there.  By now it is covered in snow,  but will be green and wavy again next summer.  Thank God that spring always follows winter. 

Sandy, Earl, and Mark went back east to Grand Forks.  The kids and I caravanned with Kristi and Lee to Montana.  We spent a few days visiting them in Scobey and visiting Skylar's horse Aloha on the family farm.  We drove out to the hills where she lives in the truck.  As Skylar got out and called her name, Alli came right over.  She spent a long time with us getting carrots and snuggles.  She still deals with arthritis after she runs.  This is the perfect place for her.  She has miles of pasture with a creek.  She gets fed hay every winter.  Lee and his family love on her and take good care of her.  It was a hard decision to make but it worked out well for her. 

Leaving eastern Montana, we headed west to Glacier National Park.  We camped in a KOA on the west side.  I loved taking Babs on the Going to the Sun Road up to Logan's Pass.  The kids and I picked up our paddles and did some white water rafting down the Flathead River in the afternoon.  It was breathtakingly beautiful.  That evening we took the truck up the same road to see the sun set.  We got to Logan's Pass and couldn't see anything due to the low clouds.  Big Horn Sheep roamed the parking lot of the visitor's center.  We really wished we could spend more time hiking and exploring the area.  We will be back.

Next stop:  Spokane, Washington where we spent a few days with the Casady family.  Nancy made us a lovely Indian meal and we toured their mini farm.  Hannah took a tour of Whitworth University to see if it may be a fit for her in a few years. We ventured farther west to Portland, Oregon to visit the Walling family.  Berries.  BBQ.  Donuts. Playing with the boys.  Catching up with good friends.  Our next stop found us in Fresno, CA with the Ginthers.  Kristen and the kids made my birthday feel special.  We didn't get a long visit but left in the night to get the girls to LAX without facing LA traffic.  They flew home for youth group camp in Prescott while Kody and I headed south to San Diego.  He spent a week at Camp Fiesta Island with the Boy Scouts.  I had a few days to breathe.  We arrived home 5 weeks after we left in May.

Quick turn around and the girls and I went to Tennessee for our national youth group conference called CHIC.  He heard challenging speakers, great worship bands, hung out with our Blender group, and even got to go white water rafting again.  We also got to help out weeding the community garden that serves fresh food in Knoxville.  The kids and I also did a 5k to raise money for clean water wells for people who need them.

After CHIC, Skylar had another surgery to reattach her retina.  Scar tissue had caused the detachment. She had to lie face down for four days.  Melissa loaned us a massage table so it made it a little easier.  Within two weeks, Skylar was moving in to the dorm in downtown Phoenix and Hannah and Kody were starting school.  I had officially resigned at the end of the school year.  As the fall began, I began subbing for a few schools.

Kody is in 6th grade at Coronado.  He's taking honors classes, Odyssey of the Mind, and is actively involved with Boy Scouts.  He chose to be baptized this fall to show people he is a follower of Jesus.  Hannah is a junior at Ironwood Ridge.  She also has a full plate of hard classes.  She continues to show Hope in 4H and is in leadership with 4H and with the Blender youth group at church.  Skylar finished her first semester at Cronkite.  She has written  a few articles for the Arizona State Press student newspaper. We're thankful she has found a church close to campus and is attending a new small group.

Kody's baptism

Kody and Jackson start middle school

Moving in to the dorm in downtown Phoenix

Hannah enjoying the lake before she tackles
a challenging semester

Kody makes Tenderfoot rank in Scouts

Hannah, Kody, and Meta help build a house in Mexico

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Andrea and Skylar both came home a few weeks ago for Christmas.  Andrea chose to spend the break with our family and her Tucson friends and family.

Santa brings jammies on Christmas Eve

Santa visits the siblings...who was naughy and who was nice??? 

The cousins took a surprise portrait for Grandma Clydene and Papa Alvis

 Skylar had another surgery two weeks ago to laser the retina down again and to remove part of the retina that had developed a hole.  This time her doctor added a heavy silicone liquid on top of the oil he put in her eye in July.  The silicone liquid can only stay in for a few weeks so the surgery this morning was to remove the silicone.  She will have additional surgery next summer to remove the oil.  By that time, they will evaluate her need for cataract surgery and/or eyelid surgery.

It has been good for me to be at home more with Kody and Hannah.  I can also pick up Skylar at ASU for her doctor's appointments down here.  I've been able to reconnect with women's Bible Study at Grace again.  In January I started going to a group called Griefshare.  There were 9 of us who had lost a spouse in the last year.  Six of us have kept meeting regularly long after the class was over.  Now we call it Hopeshare.  We've been able to meet with other gals who are newer to the widow journey.  So instead of leading middle schoolers with youth group on Sunday nights, I meet with these gals to pray and encourage each other.  Talk about aNewseason God has put me in.  Never would have believed it if you had told me this two years ago.

This fall I have had time to put in a garden in the backyard...completely fenced with a picket gate to keep out the dogs...  Herbs, tomatoes, peppers, cilantro, snap peas, carrots, cilantro, carrots, lettuces.... About half of it did well.  I was able to make 3 batches of salsa with vegetables we grew ourselves.  There is something healing and positive about growing something and looking forward to it.  Per our plans for the house from before, we also added a rain water cistern to make better use of our water.  I can use it to water the garden and fill the pond.  Black Friday finally enticed me to go to a sale.  Buy One, Get One windows, doors, and vents at Tuff Shed.  Because of county permit issues it was better to get two smaller barns than one larger barn.  Dad and I then built a chicken run to connect the two barns.  Kody and I are building nesting boxes this week for a scout merit badge.

coming soon...chickens 

It's been good to get back to serving on the tech team for worship.  It's easier for me to be in church and run the sound or the media.  I've also gotten to play the cajon (drum box) a few times with the worship band.  Checking off the bucket list items, I started ukelele and bass guitar lessons this fall.  I bought a uke when we went to Hawaii for Spring Break.  The kids bought me a bass for Christmas.  I get to go pick it out this week.  Figured I wasn't getting any younger and I better start somewhere if I want to be able to lay down the groove with the worship band.

We're also fulfilling another wish of Karl's.  He has talked for years about coming alongside our friend Hank in his dream to start a brewery.  Catalina Brewing Company:  We bike.  We brew. Well six years later, it is really happening.   We are thrilled to be minority partners and look forward to opening next month.  We will have the first microbrewery in Marana just a block behind Bedroxx.   Who would have ever thought??  Look for more info about our grand openings coming soon.

picking paint colors

picking prickly pear for the La Rosa beer

This is way too much information for the typical Christmas letter.  But then I guess our life has been anything but typical.  Last year it was easier to travel everywhere than be home.  This year, it has been healing to complete projects we had always wanted to do.  It's easier to be busy building or doing projects than sitting idle.  Being home more has afforded me more time to be in the Word and attentive to God's leading.  It is not clear what direction He has next for me.  I'm open.  I want to be the best mom to our kids.  I want to work on being a better daughter, daughter in law, and sister.  I want to invest in the friendships that breathe life into me.  Wounds are still healing.  I can see it happening.  Each day the rawness is a little less.  The unbearable moments are a little less frequent.  I don't cry every single day.  But not a day goes by that I don't miss Karl's friendship, his encouragement, his hand in mine, the way his eyes wrinkle when he smiles, the way he yelled at the kids.... "time to Sing and Praaayyyy".... walking the dogs with him, sitting up on the fort watching the sunset hearing about his projects at work, riding our motorcycles and talking through the com system, asking for a back rub and him knowing just the spot....that doesn'[t include all the practical things he did that now I have to do around the house and the yard...with the cars....the finances.... parenting....  I don't like doing all this alone.  We made a really great team.  We brought out the very best in each other.  I feel like my best got buried and I'm trying to recover it...if that's even possible now.

Two months ago or so, I was asked to speak in church as part of the Love of a Lifetime series on marriage.  The last sermon in that series was called Til Death Do Us Part:  When marriages end in death or divorce.  It was very humbling to speak honestly about our marriage in a retrospect kind of way.  If you are interested, my part starts at the 32 minute mark of the sermon.  The whole sermon is worth listening to if you have the time.

Til Death Do Us Part -  go to 32 minute mark.


Last year I focused on the three words: perspective, gratitude, and trust.  They were my words for the last year and a half.  This week another word hit me.  So small yet so very meaningful.  A word of transition.  A word that moves from one hard place into a better place.  YET.  You see.... at night, our family has this tradition of sharing our favorite parts of the day, praying together, and then singing "The Steadfast Love of the Lord".  It's straight from Lamentations 3:22.  This week I chose to read all of Lamentations 3.  It's 20 verses of Suckville.  You know.  Everybody is against me.  Nothing is going right.  But then here is verse 21 nestled in just before verse 22.... "Yet one thing comes to mind and therefore I have HOPE"..... The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end.  They are new every morning.  Great is His faithfulness."  YET is the transition word from the crud to the hope.  It's there for all of us.  In the middle of whatever crud you are in....YET will I keep one thing in my mind to bring me hope....  I'm thinking this may be my word for the year for 2016.  YET...the transition word from crud to hope.    

As we take a few moments to reflect on where we've been and where we are going, we say thank you to all of you walking this road with us.  We couldn't do it without your love and support.  In a world where politics, world events, health, economics...nothing makes sense and nothing ever goes the way you think it should....we thank God that He is constant.  He is faithful.  He has a plan and a purpose for us even when we can't see it.  Yet will we trust Him.

From our hearts to yours in His name,

Meta, Skylar, Hannah, and Kody