Thoughts from the beach...

This weekend I gathered with about 70 other widow sisters on the shores of South Carolina.  We came from all over the country.  Many of us fresh and others further along, but all on the same path.  We shared stories, tears, and laughter.  Only with a group of kindred sisters can you laugh at things others find inappropriate or uncomfortable.... and it's ok.  I'd like to say we laughed til we cried but that's not right. We laughed til we peed.  And then we cried.  Hazards of gathering with my new sisters... We laugh at jokes even if they're only a widow bit funny....  We needed to tell our stories. We needed to hear others tell theirs.  We are not alone in this. 

We also met with God.  He met us in the tears. He met us in worship.  He tenderly cupped our faces and reminded us that He knows our pain and is right in the midst with us. We can rail. We can ask questions and shake our fists and it is ok. He is still here.

sunrise over the Atlantic

Way back when Karl and I were dating I was preparing to go to the Philippines for a year- planned before we met.   As I got cold feet in the weeks before I was to leave, Karl insisted I go because God had a plan for me there. He would wait for me. Until then, whenever we saw the moon, we would look up and think of the other. No matter how far apart we were, we would both be looking at the same moon. When I got home and for the next twenty years, whenever we would see the moon one of us would say, "Look at the moon" and then we'd share a kiss.  The last few months I can't even look at it for my heart breaks.

Saturday night in worship, we were reminded of what heaven is like and what our husbands are doing there - worshipping and looking at the face of Jesus.  As I lifted my face singing "I exalt thee O Lord", my heart felt full. I could see the face of Jesus too.  It took my breath.  No matter how far apart we are, we are both looking at the same Son.  I grabbed this thought like a precious gift meant just for me.  The moon won't hold pain or tears for me now. When I'm missing Karl, I can say "Look at the Son, honey." My eyes will be on Him too.

our glassy beach (photo by Kim Marsh)

I sat on the beach yesterday with my Bible, devotional, and journal. I had stuck the bookmark we got in our welcome bag randomly in my journal.  As I prayed and reflected I read back through some entries.  July 5- not even 4 months ago.  I was sitting on the beach in Rocky Point, Mexico just 3 days before Karl's first chemo treatment. Here is the last paragraph I wrote that day.

"Help me to do and be what You have planned for me- even during this season. Don't let it be a barren dry season.  May we grow in You and point others to new faith- renewed faith in You.  Keep me from complaining, discouragement, fear, and drama."

Wow.  So much has changed. And not changed.  This is my prayer on this beach.... at a stinking conference for widows for crying out loud.  And here's the kicker.  The conference is sponsored by aNew Season Ministries.  It's on my bookmark on the very page as I reaffirm and rewrite this prayer.  I am in a new season.  It's even different from the season I was in just 3 and a half months ago.  Will it be a growing season?  I hope so.  My prayer is the same.  Hear my prayers Lord.  Fulfill your dreams for me and the kids. May we honor Karl by flourishing and growing in this new season.  We want to be better, not bitter.  

Things I took away from this week.....

Loved spending time with Laura and Linda, my cousins before the conference. 

Change of scenery is healing...trees, leaves, rivers with water... all make my heart feel peaceful.

Laughter and shared experiences count for everything.

You think things are tough til you hear someone else's story.
Forgiving people and trusting God in the middle of the crud can actually happen and it doesn't mean I'm in denial of things, (Thanks Sheryl.)

What is shared around the dinner table will stay at the table.  My memories I can take with me!

I'm not the only one who has bladder driveway syndrome.  There is hope.  

Other woman have done this and so can I.  Just not alone.  We need each other.

God brought a few gals to this conference  just to touch my heart.   Who knew that a ride in an elevator, a shared meal, or a moment on the beach would mean so much?

Thankful for my widow sisterchicks.  

My friend and fellow Painted Sky teacher Jill lost Steve 11 days after Karl.  We're on this road together.

And the kids....

While I was away, Skylar was able to join the newspaper staff at the National Journalism Conference in Washington DC. She had signed up and sent in the security clearances this summer.  After the accident we just never imagined she would be able to go.  God is good.  Her recovery has been miraculous in so many ways.  One of the parent chaperones is a school nurse and could help with the eye medications she needs several times a day.  The kids got to hear Bob Woodward, attend seminars, visit the White House, Capitol, and a Smithsonian museum.  I'm so thankful that she got to go.

Hannah and Kody stayed with multiple friends.  I'm so appreciative of the "village" that helps raise my kids.  It helps that Hannah got her driver's license on Monday just in time to drive all over Oro Valley this week. One morning Hannah arrived back at home to feed the dogs before school and was greeted by a 3 month old black lab/border collie puppy.  She had no tags and no micro chip, She also would have had to have walked a really long way to get to our home and had no scratches and no stickers. Hannah contacted all the neighbors, a nearby kennel, the Humane Society, and animal control.  No one is looking for her.  She put up multiple signs all over our area.  Not one single call.  The neighbors all think she was dumped in the desert.  I kept telling the kids not to get attached.  Her family would be looking for her.  The kids would send me pictures and videos of the puppy with our dogs.  My new conference friends laughed and wished me luck with the new dog. I laughed and disagreed......We do not need another dog.  We already have three that take a lot of work. Then I got home.  She is really cute.  Watching the kids and the dogs makes me smile.  I caved.  Our free dog that we ARE SURELY NOT keeping now has a collar, toys, and food.  She also has a tag...Genie Grace.  Genie because she appeared out of nowhere out here in the desert.  Grace because she is an unmerited and unasked for gift from God...born about 3 months ago. I have a strong feeling Karl picked her out for us.  That would be just like him.

With perspective, gratitude, and trust still on our hearts......We will keep looking up.    

Grace and Hope

We haven't updated in a while and people have been asking how things are going now that we've been home the last month or so.  We're here and we're trying to move forward with grace and hope.  There is no manual on how to go through  what we've faced the last ten weeks.  We're making it up as we go along relying on the things we know to be true, even when it doesn't feel like it.  Some days are hard. Some days are even harder.  Nothing is easy or natural.

Today we got a check in the mail for our plane tickets to India.  Many of you followed that saga on our blog post back in May. Would we get our money back?  Not?  Oh...I was trying so hard to keep perspective back then..... I thought I would feel relieved when this day finally came.  Instead I find myself teary and feel sad for no logical reason.  Maybe it's because the chapter of our epic summer abroad is over.  Instead, we got a whole mess of crud we didn't want.  Everything we thought we would have gotten to experience together as a family got flipped upside down.

So many of you joined us for Karl's service...about 900 in fact.  We knew Labor Day would be hard for some to make it. The service is still online if you would like to see it.  The day was exactly what we wanted it to be. We wanted God and Karl to be honored. It was truly a celebration of the most humble, kind, generous man. It was filled with laughter, worship, memories, chocolate and root beer.  He would have been embarrassed but he would have loved it.

The support we are experiencing is indescribable.  Meals four days a week, cards and letters, fundraisers from Burger King Oro Valley, youth groups, and Scouts.  People are reaching out to care for us in real and personal ways... I feel like each act of kindness deserves adequate recognition and thanks.  Please know how much they mean to us.  We pray we are worthy of your love and attention. We pray that what you are pouring into us, we can also pour into others around us.  We are also thankful to our new friend Simone at KGUN9.  She has done three stories on our family.  Here they are if you would like to see them.

The prayer vigil the day after the accident

Skylar's Recovery

Karl's Service

Skylar is recovering. She had surgery again on September 11 to put plates and pins in her collarbone.  It's now much better than it was.

before

after

She continues to see multiple eye specialists. Her retina has completely reattached itself in all areas. The doctors have no explanation.  Unfortunately she had damage to her optic nerve and the third nerve. We have to wait at least six months to see how much they recover. The optic nerve has to miraculously get better for her to have any kind of useful vision.  Right now she can make out the big E but it is dark.  Because the third nerve is affected, her pupil is off center which causes phantom vision.  It is disconcerting to see two of everything.  Because of the facial nerve paralysis, Skylar could not close her eye or move anything on the left.  Now she can close her eye about 95% of the way. Until she can close it 100% we have to keep it moist by applying erythromycin six times a day and keeping it taped shut. She will probably have two surgeries in January -first on the muscle and then on the eyelid.  She is hoping to get it looking cosmetically like a normal eye and also hoping there is some function to it.  This is all miraculous since the surgeon told us he never expected her to see out of it again.  Pray with us for both of these things- function and appearance.  

Skylar has gone back to school this week to visit her classes and friends. She is officially on Homebound status and her journalism teacher comes to the house to tutor her in AP Lit, Economics, and Journalism. She was cleared to read only two weeks ago.  We will see how the recovery is going as we determine when she will return to campus full time.

Hannah is doing well with her modified schedule. She is on hand when Skylar has PT and Speech therapies at home in the afternoons.  She turned 16 on September 8th. Our dear friends threw her a surprise party that weekend. We also had dinner at mom and dads. It was a bittersweet celebration.  She is excited to get her license in the next month or so.

all the cousins help Hannah celebrate

Kody is enjoying 5th grade.  He also began his last year of Cub Scouts. This is difficult since Karl was his den leader for the last four years. We're thankful for Roger and Eric who have taken the den. We will continue on for the Arrow of Light in the spring.  This year I got to help Kody make his boat for the Raingutter Regatta. We're making plans for the Weblo camp out at the end of the month.

Learning to use a sander to make the boat

Kody, Landen, and Hayden or Huey, Dewey, and Louie as Papa calls them

Kody and his buddy Jackson

Kody's dog, Bandit, had two big medical issues this month.  A few weeks ago he licked a briar out of his fur called a foxtail.  These are nasty little stickers that get stuck in your socks when you live in the desert.  The foxtail burred into his throat and then abscessed out the front of his neck.  The abscess at first looked like a rattlesnake bite.  Doc Baker was able to remove it so he could recover before the next surgery.  Right before the accident we found out Bandit had a large tumor that needed to come off his tail.  Last week Doc Baker performed a tailectomy on our guy.  Bandit was on the same pain meds as Skylar for several days!   He is excited to get the fancy cone of shame off tomorrow when they remove his sutures.  

Bandit's Fancy Cone of Shame

Since we've been home I've been juggling the many new tasks before us: financial paperwork, legal paperwork, doctor visits, therapist visits, medical and insurance switchovers... So many things totally out of my comfort zone.  Most days my brain and my heart are wiped.  

Last week was the worst. I felt I was in a dark hole with no hope.  I cried out to God begging for a sign that we would all find joy and hope soon.  That very day I found an online group of Jesus-loving widows. They're on the same journey trusting God for a path they didn't choose.  I am excited to connect with them at a retreat in November.  A glimmer of hope.....The next day my friend Kelli gave me a Willow Tree figurine called Angel of Hope. How like our God to give me something so tangible to let me know He hears me when I cry!

Then yesterday I nearly lost it in Sprouts and Walmart.  Everything I saw was a trigger-something I knew I should get for Karl.  I got to the register and couldn't find my debit card. By the time I got home I was losing it. I brought groceries in and my fridge and freezer were warm. As in..melted ice cream and water filled ice bucket... I cried. And then I called mom and dad. As soon as they got there Dad fixed the fridge and Hannah found my debit card. In the middle of all of it, my friend Lil texted and asked how I was.  I ranted back to her and told her I needed grace to get through the day.  This morning Lil texted and asked if Grace showed up. Today was a much better day and we had dinner with friends. Dee gave me a Willow Tree figurine called Healing Grace.  Hmmm... Grace did show up.  Now I have Hope and Grace on my kitchen counter....they're also working their way into my heart.

Grace and Hope

On the way to Karl's service, the kids and I decided we are going to Disneyland for fall break. Nothing like the Magic Kingdom with good friends to help us move forward. Our friends are also facing tough, tough battles as they prepare for chemo. Mark's cancer battle mirrors the battle Karl only just started this summer. Same tests, same docs, same treatments.  We will walk alongside the Flemings with a little experience and we will repeat together the words from Habakuk 3:  even when there are no figs on the trees and no grapes on the vine- yet will we praise Him.  We may not have figs or grapes..... but we do have Grace and Hope.

And now... a post from Skylar

Hey, everyone!

Miss Cindy rode ABC over to the house for Skylar to love on this week.  Best therapy ever.
 She can't wait to get back in the saddle again.... Baby steps.

It's Skylar and I'm hanging in there. Honestly my recovery has been incredible so far—and coming home made life way better. Without nurses giving me shots, checking my IV, feeding me disgusting pills crushed into applesauce, and poking and prodding me every two and a half seconds, it's significantly easier to heal. Mom and Hannah were so knowledgeable about my healing when we got home they took over as my nurses effortlessly. I get some pretty strong painkillers every few hours, and now I'm not in any pain at all, which is a huge blessing.

So right now I have a broken and mostly-blind left eye, I'm permanently deaf in my left ear, I have too many skull fractures to count, the entire left side of my face is paralyzed, my left arm is in a sling (so I remember not to use it while my collarbone heals), my jaw was reset and is healing slowly, my nose is healing after being broken, and my left shoulder has been messed up too. I'm kind of a wreck, but a lot of it will just take time to heal :) I also have a lot of bruises and stitches, and I'm getting used to walking and balancing again after spending so much time immobilized. Every day I feel stronger, though, and I'm slowly adapting to these challenges. I can still see and hear from the right side, and I'm insanely grateful for that.

Since we've been home, recovery has been slow but steady. I gained part of my appetite back, and now I can eat small snacks every day to supplement my energy drinks. Working with my physical therapist has helped me with balance, and now I can get around the house without a problem. I can do almost everything by myself—an occupational therapist came to visit yesterday and left early because there wasn't really anything I needed her help with :P I spend a lot of time napping, because A) sleep is great for healing, and B) napping has always been one of my favorite things to do anyway. I'll start doing schoolwork from home soon, but for now I'm still regaining my old energy (and who wants to do weeks of economics and literature homework when you can watch TV and drink milkshakes instead?).

I am so, so grateful for the crazy support we've been given in the past month. It's been painful and heartbreaking and frustrating and tragic, but the way that people have come around us has been astounding. The people who came to the hospital all the time just to sit in the waiting room and support me mean the world to me. And the prayers you all are praying have made an incredible difference. You all prayed for my eye pressure and brain fluids to stabilize radically after the accident, and they did. You've prayed for me to not remember the accident and the horrible early-hospital days, and I don't. You prayed for me to retain my regular memory, brain function, and personality, and I did. I feel so incredibly lucky for all of those things—and God's work in this mess is far from over. In that statement I'm confident.

I'm gaining vision back into my cripplingly broken left eye, which is a miracle and an answer to a ton of prayers. The retina reattached itself in all four corners without any surgery—an inexplicable and amazing thing. My eye doctor was so shocked last week when we went in for a checkup that he scheduled another appointment this week—he wants to do another evaluation with the surgeon who did the original surgery on the night of the accident, so that the first guy can explain what detachment he was seeing. My left eye vision is dark, blurry, and weirdly warped, but I can vaguely make out shapes, letters, and people from several feet away. As the swelling in my head goes down over time, it's possible that my vision could continue to improve on its own. We don't know if it will (or if it does, how much better it will get) but this is an incredible phenomenon and I am so thrilled.
My physical therapist is also encouraged by my progress in the past week- he thinks that I'll be able to get my mouth working normally again and get back to my original physical ability because I'm so motivated. I'm sick of my awkward half-smiles and I will do as many ridiculous facial exercises as I need to get better.

Please continue to pray for my recovery—I've come a long way, but I still have a crazy long way to go. I'm gaining strength, working with therapists, meeting with doctors, and slowly healing. This will take a lot of time. My mom, sister, brother and I don't understand why God let this happen or what the future will look like, but even though we're broken because of this tragedy, we have no choice but to trust in Him.

Specifically, if you could pray for the continued improvement in my left eye (and wisdom as we meet with the two eye specialists on Wednesday), the healing of my nose and jaw, progress with my therapists and specialists, and coping with our devastating loss, I would be super grateful. I also have a never-ending high-pitched ringing in my left ear that's a result of the deafening surgery, and there's no telling if or when it will ever stop. Your prayers have done so much, and if you could pray for it to go away, I give you my thanks.(Also, if you could pray that I heal quickly enough to get back to riding horses and ziplining as quickly as possible, that would be awesome. Those are two of my favorite things and I'm anxious to get back to my hobbies!)

Thank you all for the prayers, well-wishes, kind messages, food you've brought, hours spent in the hospital waiting room, loving cards, gifts, and everything else. You all have blessed our family and shown us such love in what has undoubtedly been the worst period in all of our lives. We appreciate you all so much!

We as a family are so grateful also to Grace for providing us this website to post updates, and Charlie for maintaining it so well. However, now that we're home and I'm stable, we'll be posting future updates on our family blog, Mason Adventures. So please check there after this.
Thank you all again—we appreciate you so much!

Skylar Mason

No catchy title... Just us....

To all our friends who are reading this... We've decided to move our blog back over to our family blog.  Charlie, Chris, and Pastor Dave have done an incredible job of recording Skylar and our family's progress. So many of you have expressed thanks that you can keep up with what is going on from far away.  When these three weren't at the hospital, they were taking my random emails and adding them to the church website. If you get a chance, please thank them.   So I guess we will link one to the other.

Skylar is also posting here so stay tuned for a post specifically from her.  She wanted to update you on her own physical progress from her own perspective.  

These are some of my own random thoughts that have not much to do with her physical progress... Just what's in my head as I spend nights giving meds, days making appointments and filling out paperwork. Meeting therapists.  Long hours at vital records and Social Security.  Juggling kids. House. Bills.  Making time to just be with my kids. And missing my husband.  This is the hard part as all four of us face all of this stuff differently....

We were facing different kinds of trials earlier this summer... Wow. Who knew?  I guess I'm glad I didn't know.  Would I have done things differently? Maybe.  Would I have lived with more fear?  Yes.  The thing is.... I don't have any huge regrets when it comes to my family.  To Karl. Every day we said what we needed to say.  We took trips together as a couple and together as a family.  A long time ago we saw our neighbors save every thing and every dime for retirement. Right after Glen retired he got sick and they couldn't do what they had waited their whole lives to do.  Early on in our marriage Karl and I decided we would find a healthy balance of "live for now like there is no tomorrow" and "prudently plan for the future".  

We did it well.  So well that my heart is broken. My best friend. My confidant. Lover. Biggest fan.  The voice on the other end of my helmet comm. My parenting partner.  The man I dreamed with.  My Uyab.

When we were in Mexico last month I had an epiphany.  I figured out why we clicked.  Stereotypes never mattered to either of us.  He was the first one I ever dated that found my idiosyncrasies endearing.  He didn't care that I was a bit loud and obnoxious.  He never complained that I prefer t shirts and jeans and Converse to heels and miniskirts.  I realized this as I ordered a lbeer and hushed Karl and the kids during the World Cup and he ordered the strawberry margarita and patiently waited until we could leave at half time.  I love motor sports and arena football.  He'd rather go to a concert or have a quiet evening at home.  And it was all ok with both of us.  Neither one of us was threatened.  He found me feminine and attractive no matter my weight or clothing. He never once asked why I didn't girly girl up.  Oh how I pray that same kind of unconditional-nonstereotypical-love for my kids. May they find that same kind of love when it's time.  I know they got a good look at what a love like that looks like.  I pray we showed them what true God given love looks like.  That it's worth waiting for.  

These days are getting harder... The realization of the permanence of life without him is starting to set in.  I'm trying to be thankful that we had more good days than some people have in a lifetime.  I'm just selfish enough to wish they'd gone on a little longer.  

We bit the bullet and went to Blender last night.  That's where we were headed to four weeks ago. It was hard but we also needed to be around our people who love Karl and us.  It was difficult to be in such a "normal routine" of our lives yet know that there was nothing normal about it. As Michelle and I washed dishes, we talked about Job.  About fear.  About bad things happening all around us to those we love.   It's scary. There are no guarantees.  Accidents happen. People get sick and don't get better.  Diagnoses come out crappy.  Michelle reminded me that we can't live in fear all the time.  Right now I do feel fearful. What if I fail my kids? What if I can't do the widow mom thing and they come out warped? What if something now happens to me?  Or one of them?  What if I don't know how to do life without my soulmate?  

What do I have to stand on?  Perfect love casts out fear.  How many times does God tell me not to be afraid.  The ones that I clung to  hard this summer were in Isaiah 41.  In both verse 10 and in verse 13.  One verse says He is holding me with his righteous right hand.  In the other verse he is holding my right hand. yeah...my broken right hand that can't grip anything on its own.   In order to do both, God has to be beside me and in front of me.  In true Mason form, when I hear verses, undoubtedly a VBS song will follow.  This time it's from Crocodile Dock in 2009.  "I will not be afraid. Though troubles out there, night and day. I will not be swamped with fear cuz God is always, always, always here."  Pray that each new dawn will show me that I can still breathe. That He is giving us what we need one moment at a time.  That I don't need to fear what is ahead.  That I can trust that in time I will see how the puzzle fits together in His glorious unfolding.  

The Accident and the Next Month.... a link to the Grace website

May 16th was a bad day.  That's the day the docs discovered colon cancer.  The day we cancelled our trip to India.  What a difference 2 months can make.  July 20.  I wish with every bone in my body we could go back and find that was what our future would be.  Some surgery.... some chemo....  I'd gladly sacrifice the trip and  pay one hundred times the amount of those flights.....  So maybe now I know why God gave me those three words back then.  Perspective.  Gratitude.  Trust.  Perspective to change how we view things.  Gratitude for each day and each person we love.  Trust... that's the hard one now.  Trust that our God sees the picture on the front of the puzzle box.  Sees how this all fits together somehow for His glorious unfolding.  Cuz frankly right now I don't see it.  I don't like it and I don't want it.  I'd like a different picture please.

I' thought I'd post a link to the church website here jfor the times we need to go back and see how some of the pieces fit together.  We could maybe take a glimpse at how we have been carried this last month.  It's been a haze.  Skylar and Kody will need a little help remembering.  I don't think Hannah and I will because we were smack dab in the middle of it.  Unfortunately we were conscious and present for most of it.  

Link to the Grace Website Updates

My New Job: The Life Alert Spokeslady

A week ago today Karl was sitting in the recliner getting chemo drugs.  He came home with a handy dandy little pump that continued to give him the drugs for another 48 hours.  Every few minutes it would give a little hmph sound and deliver the welcomed poison to his system. 2 ml an hour.  He decided the pump needed a name and settled on Hal. We did need to figure out how to silence Hal in the night.  We wrapped him in a big fat towel and put him on the headboard.  Hal also got his very own ziplock back and patio table right outside the shower.  We went back to the center on Thursday and Hal came off.  Karl got his mega buck booster and away we went.

Side effects were definitely present but manageable.  Nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite, headache.  Pills and extra sleep seemed to help.  Eugene sent a cool little electro shock watch band that seemed to help also.  All in all, things were ok.  Karl continues to handle all of this with calm patience.  Maybe it's his new look.  He's working on a full beard.  A distinguished beard.  We will see if it comes in fully or if he will always have that "almost a full beard" look.

Karl went back to work on Monday (yesterday) and managed a full day.  He was tired by about 3:00 and home by 4:30.  Not too bad.   Today he worked half a day and went back to the doc for some blood work.  His white cell count is out of this world.  That's good.  It means he can fight hard next week when we start this all again.

So here comes the part that I didn't want to write about.  Karl said I had to or he would revoke the privilege of sharing his medical issues with the world. I was lifting the lawn mower into the truck last week and did something to my back.  At the time, I didn't think much about it.  Just a quick little, "maybe I should not have done that" thought but not much else.  The next day I simply bent over to pick up an umbrella under the fort and wham... my back screamed and grabbed.  A few ibuprofen and I went on with my day.  Yardwork, dinner with friends, all was well.  Saturday morning I went to pick up the laundry and wham bam.... I'm on the floor.  Don't know what I pulled or what happened.  Since then, it has been a slow process of getting up and down out of  the chair, heating pads, icey hot pads, and really good pain relieving drugs.  Sleeping in the chair is better than the bed.  Karl had to help me up Saturday night and we were a sorry pair.  I was leaning in to him trying to stand and his tummy was doing the nausea tango.  We had to laugh.  But then again, that is how the Maynard family deals with pain.  We laugh.  The more it hurts, the more we giggle.  People don't know what to think.  

By Sunday night I was ok enough for Karl and Hannah to go to youth group.  Skylar left to go pick up Kody.  I used the rolling chair to help stand up to go to the bathroom.  Long story longer.... the chair slipped and tipped over and down I went.  I tried to prop myself up enough to stand up but it didn't work.  I had to stay down on the ground until Skylar got home.  She walked through the door and immediately asked........ "Are you exercising?"   Which made me laugh.  Which made me hurt. Which made me laugh more.  Needless to say there wasn't anything she could do except bring me a happy pill and wait with me on the floor for 20 minutes until I was in a state where she and Kody could lift me to my feet.  This was the one time in life I really could have used a life alert button.

Things are better now.  My injury sister Cindy happened to have a walker that Karl and Hannah brought home.  Yes, that helps me get up to use the facilities.  I'm able to take short walks around without out it now.  Hopefully a few more days of quality time with my Stargate Atlantis family will work wonders for my healing.  It stinks.  I've had to actually cancel meals out with friends and an epic 48 hour motorcycle adventure I had planned.

On yet one more note that I can't even believe..... The dogs needed kennel cough shots and rabies shots to renew their licenses.  Karl and Hannah took them in on Friday.  In a ROUTINE visit, Doc Baker checked Bandit's temp and found a large tumor on his tail near his backside.  He biopsied the tumor and we found out today it is cancer.  Fortunately it is the kind of cancer that doesn't spread easily.  Unfortunately, it will need to come off along with his tail.  We're sad.  We're mad at this dumb cancer.  Again.  Really?  He is scheduled for surgery in the next few weeks.  We pray he has clean margins.

This is really getting comical.  I'd like to say I have some more witty mixed metaphors but I really don't.  Yeah.  Bikes.  No cholla.  Hope.  Whoosh.  Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.  Daily grace.  More please.    We had no idea two months ago on May 15 where we would be now.  We thought we'd be in India.  We were supposed to come home on July 16th. That's tomorrow.   A lot has happened.  Or should I say A lot has not happened.  At least the way we thought it would.

We have spent more time together as a family than we ever would have if things had gone differently.  We laugh that our days are scheduled like old people.  We plan them around a doctor's visit. Add in a few errands, lunch, home for a nap and an early dinner.  Really?  And we spend so much time together we end up eating in silence because we've talked everything out already throughout the day.  We decided when all this is over we will maintain different hobbies so we really don't end up like the silent couple sitting in the Golden Corral.  We want to share and laugh and discuss.

I also know that we're not the only family dealing with really weird and really hard stuff.  Many friends are going through really weird medical  and life stuff.  This is where I'm finding perspective, gratitude and trust.  When I look around me....Heart issues in your 40's.  Strokes in your 30's.  Serious infections that have no explanation.  Parents with terminal illnesses.   Job issues.  Moving when you don't want to move.  Divorces.  Custody battles.  Life is hard.  I see that our crud could be a lot harder than it is now.

I don't have any pat answers.  I won't quote Romans 8:28.  You know.  The one about all things working together for good.  I hate to admit that sometimes I want to punch people in the throat when they quote that verse in a flippant manner and make what we're going through seem routine or trite.  I don't dislike the verse....just people using it to say everything will have a happy ending.  Sometimes we don't see the happy ending.  Sometimes circumstances stink. Period.  But that doesn't mean that God has dissed us.  Instead, I will repeat what I know to be true.  God loves me.  He has a plan for me.  I have no idea how all this will work out.   I do know that He is faithful and will provide all we need to get through this.  How do I know that?  Because He has always done so in the past, I can count on Him now.  I have found His Word to be true in every situation we've faced so I have no reason to doubt it now.  When all is said and done, I will know Him more and He will be lifted up.  In the midst of all of this, I will cry out, "Jesus Help!  I've fallen and I can't get up!"  He will respond.  

Kickin' Cancer Jedi Style

Karl starts chemo today.  He's sitting in the recliner getting quite the cocktail of drugs.  We're quickly learning a whole new vocabulary and new routines.  The kids and I are wearing our Team Mason shirts.  Karl has to wear a button down so they can access his port under his right clavicle.  Karl is wearing his Golden Lightsaber pin that Kody gave him.  Kody traded a LOT of hot pin sets at the OM World Finals to acquire this one pin for Karl.  It contains a Force we understand!  Hmmm.... I wonder if the nurses can add several thousand midichlorian to Karl's infusion?? It sure couldn't hurt.   Kicking Cancer Jedi Style!

 

So the kids can't come back to the infusion room because they're under 18.  They brought Sonic for lunch and were able to FaceTime Karl from the lobby.  He could show them around via his iPad.  Gotta love technology.  And Sonic delivery.

Karl will be here every other Tuesday for 5 hours or so.  He will wear a pump home that will deliver meds til Thursday.  They will take it off on Thursday and administer a mega immunity booster shot that is so special they want five digits for it.... Yes. Five digits.  We will hit our family yearly  insurance maximum in one shot! Who knew?  Thank You Lord for insurance.  Karl wants to name his computerized pump.  I told him he can't give it a girl's name.  He named it Hal.  I guess that works.  It is delivering poison bent on destroying cells.  In the end, the pump will come off and Karl will win.  The computer will lose.  

Our dear friends Ross and Amanda offered us the use of their family beach home in Rocky Point and we spent last week there.  A whole week of no wifi or phones.  We read books, played a hundred games of Settlers of Catan, watched two seasons of Stargate Atlantis, snorkeled in Cholla Bay, lounged in the water, ate fish tacos, and enjoyed a few cervezas.  It was a magical week where we unplugged from every concern from the past two months.  Long leisurely quiet times with a cup of tea, my Bible, my journal, and a rising sun over the Sea of Cortez.  

We've been so overwhelmed with all the acts of love we have received from all our loved ones.  Meals, cards, messages, visits, packages.  Our friend Eeke made us matching shirts after reading our last blog entry.  We proudly sport them to our doc visits.  Karl and I wore them when he got the port at TMC.  People stopped to read them but I'm sure they made no sense to anyone in the oncology center.  

Karl probably won't lose all his hair but it may thin a bit.  Eugene sent Karl a lovely camo visor with it's own shock of crazy hair.  Can't wait for him to wear that to treatment. He was a little self conscious to wear it today.  

My friend Lucy reminds me of the hope we have because of Christ.  She says true hope is a white hot expectation.. Not just wishful thinking.  Hope that all of this, no matter how yucky it feels like now, will result in drawing us to a more intimate relationship with our Creator.  Hope that we will have all we need to get through this.  Today that's what I thought of when I saw Karl's light saber.  It is white hot.  Take a look at it and see if you agree.  Can you hear the whir of Hope as Karl wields  it?   

To more complicate the mental metaphors we've created.....  We will continue to ride this trail with perspective, gratitude, and trust.  We will keep our eyes up and off the cholla.  And as we ride, we will also swing the light saber of Hope.  Now that is a mental picture that oughta frighten off any mean ole cancer cooties.  

At Least None of Us Are Getting Typhoid

It's been difficult to write this.  I'd love to say we're home from the hospital after a successful surgery and all is well as we wait for Karl's incisions to heal.  The truth is, we got the labs back on Friday just as we were waiting for him to be discharged.  We're disappointed.  The dumb cancer was found in five of the lymph nodes.  Stage 3B.  Not what we were expecting to hear at all.  I guess no one expects that.  The doc didn't see any overt signals of it spreading when she did the surgery and I clung to her words.  This surgery would be but a little speed bump as our life went on.  Now it's a much bigger speed bump.

We came home Friday a bit numb.  We told our pastors and a few others. The girls were at the Comicon til Saturday and we didn't feel it best to tell them until they were home.  It was good to have a day to wrap our heads around what we had heard.  Surreal.  This is the stuff of movies or other people.  Not my husband. Not our life.

We talked to Kody first.  He understood more than I expected.  Earlier this year he had read a book by Josh Sundquist called Just Don't Fall.  Josh lost his leg to cancer and is now a para Olympic skier, Youtuber, and motivational speaker.  Because of the book, Kody was familiar with cancer and treatments.  After we talked about Dad's cancer, Kody wanted to know if Karl would have to have anything amputated.  I told him the doctors had already amputated part of his colon and it was on the inside where no one could see. This seemed to satisfy him.  He next asked if Dad would be too sick to play with him during the chemo.  I told him there may be days when he's sick but also days when he feels fine.  That seemed to satisfy Kody.

The girls got home from Comicon and we told them the results of the labs.  They were disappointed but handled it as well as any of us.

Right now, Karl has to heal from the surgery.  Laparoscopic surgery is pretty cool.  The recovery time is fairly speedy compared to what it could be.  He has to eat low fiber for a few days and then back to normal.  He also has to get up and moving to heal faster.  It's been interesting to remind him his definition for "short walks" is different than the doctor's definition.  He can't lift more than 10 pounds for about 6 weeks.  He can't drive until he sees the doctor again.  Karl feels a bit sore and tired.  Other than that, I told him he looks too good.  The people who are gracious enough to bring us meals from church are going to think we're "meal mooching".  He needs to moan a bit more and lay there with a lap quilt.

Mark, Karl's brother, brought us a juicer.  Karl's not a fan of healthy things unless they are coated in chocolate, cheese, or root beer.  Mark and Melissa also brought up a fridge full of leafy greens and fruits to juice.  We tried a combination of kale, cucumber, carrot, apple, bananas, and yogurt that wasn't too bad.  He's adjusting to our new "jungle juice" regimen.  With a root beer float chaser.

He sees the surgeon again later this week and the oncologist again next week.  They will set up a plan to start chemo.  Don't know much more until then.

We have been in contact with a friend who teaches in the district who has gone through a very similar bout with colon cancer in the last two years.  She had the same stage, same surgeon, same oncologist.  Now she's doing great.  Her recovery has been encouraging.  It's amazing how her horrible experience is now such a gift of experience and hope to us.

As we drove home from the hospital we stopped at the end of the road and got our mail- a bill from the pediatrician's office for all the typhoid shots the kids had.  Whew.  We are so relieved that none of us have to face typhoid this year.  Such a relief.  Malaria either.  And we have a fridge full of other assorted prescriptions that might come in handy if dengue fever strikes Oro Valley.  Not everyone can say that!

Karl told me this morning that when he's on a mountain bike ride problems often come up... flat tires, chains breaking or coming off.  That doesn't stop the trip.  You fix the problem and get back on the trail.  That's what we have to do now.  Fix the problem so we can get back on the trail.  

Thanks for the words of encouragement and love.  Thanks for the meals and cards.  Thanks for giving us a little space to sort through this.  As you can imagine, the emotions are flying fast and furious.  Sometimes I'm numb, sad, mad, scared, and hopeful....all in the same hour.

Karl has also given me more mountain bike advice that seems appropriate.  Look where you want to go.  Don't look at the cholla.  Pick your line and watch the trail.  Your bike goes where your eyes are.  So that's what I want to do.  Keep my eyes up and look ahead -do not look at the cholla. I guess that's the Arizona equivalent of Peter getting out of the boat and looking at Jesus instead of looking at the waves around him.

Through it all, God loves us.  He has a plan for us that includes this broken chain.  We're going to pull off and fix the problem. Then He will get us back on the trail because we've got a lot of ground left to cover.....

Perspective.  Gratitude.  Trust.  Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.  Great is His faithfulness!

Meta

So far, so good!

Thanks so much for all the well wishes.  Karl came out of surgery yesterday about 4.  He was groggy but feeling pretty well.  He has a happy button that dispenses meds as needed.  We got him up and moving last night and will do more today.  He's still on an ice chip/liquid diet.  Hopefully solid food will come tomorrow.  The doc removed about a foot of colon.  She saw no immediate signs of cancer beyond the tumor, but we don't know definitively until the labs come back later this week.  The surgery was laparoscopic and he only has two little holes~ one of them is in the belly button.  Karl will still be able to wear bikinis!  Or not.  We're praying the lymph nodes are unaffected and chemo won't be necessary.  But also confident that God will equip us to face whatever lies ahead.  

Today Karl has to sit up and walk more to get the plumbing moving.  Hopefully food tomorrow.  I'm staying with him here in the room on the oh-so-lovely recliner chair.  I keep telling myself that this chair would be a reward item if I were on Survivor.  Perspective changed.  

So some answers to prayer on the trip cancellation.  Our travel agent suggested we reschedule our trip for the fall just to prolong the life of our ticket. We would still pay the $1600 change fees with British Airways.  She suggested a travel insurance company to insure the new trip against further changes.  If we did need to change, the insurance should cover that.  So I called the insurance company from Iowa and explained the whole situation.  The agent asked what day we had paid for our trip.  It turns out we  were still within the window to purchase insurance for the current trip.  If we bought the high end policy and the option for "cancel for any reason" we could get back 75% of the original purchase price.  The insurance cost and the 25% would mean were only out a few thousand rather than $10,000.  We're also not beholden to a specific airline in a specific timeframe.  The insurance with this option would cost roughly the same amount as the airline change fees.  So on the last possible day I purchased insurance and then canceled our trip for good.  The next day I filed a claim with the insurance. 

 I cried when the lady told me it was possible to insure the trip.  She probably thought I was a nut job.  Probably right.  The intensity of the trip planning and subsequent unplanning... Along with report cards, a few difficult class parents, end of year job concerns (my job is now presumed ok, just not sure what grade level I will be).. It was no wonder my nerves and emotions were on edge.  And oh yeah... Karl has a mongo malignant tumor that must come out now.  

We finished up our trip to Iowa.  Kody's team had a great time trading pins with kids from other states and countries.  We got to spend some time with cool parents and coaches.  We got to watch our team and many others demonstrate 9 months of creative genius.  The kids had a ball in the dorm, the activities for them, all you can eat cafeteria meals, and creative transportation in our rental SUV.  In the end, we competed against 54 other teams from around the world and placed 19th.  We are thrilled.  

Hannah spent the weekend with the youth group on a local mission project called Mark 520.  They helped residents at an assisted living facility in mid Tucson build a garden, do handy man jobs, paint walls, read to blind residents, and just live life together.  

Karl did some home jobs hanging out with the dogs while we were gone.  

Thanks friends and family for your love, prayer, and support.  Many of you have walked this road before ands we appreciate your words of advice and encouragement.  We are taking each day as it comes and not planning anything even though we're home. Except.....  The girls will now get to go to part ofPhoenix  Comicon thanks to my rock star dad who agreed to take them.  He wants to cosplay as Professor Xavier so he can roll through the convention center-except he doesn't want to shave his head.  I told him he can borrow the Darth Vadar or Yoda uniforms... We also have a wide selection of Star Trek uniforms.  Stay tuned.. I will post pics next week.  Feel free to message or email him with your suggestions.  

Now you're up to date as of now.... Keeping our eyes up with perspective, gratitude, and trust!

Our 2014 Epic Summer Adventure.... not quite what we were expecting.....

Last summer Karl spent a few weeks in Bangalore, India.  During that visit, he was invited to complete a "bubble assignment":  working on site for three months.  We discussed what it would be like for our family and decided to say yes.  Karl would work for three months over the summer and the kids and I would come when school was out for 2 months.

We filled out the paperwork and got the initial approvals.  Since we already had passports, we filed for Indian Visas.  The company agreed to pay for my travel and the housing for our family.  We'd cover the kids' travel.  It would be a big expense but we felt living overseas would be an educational experience.  By February and March, things were a go and we were excited.  We sent away for our visas expecting them back in a few weeks.  One delay led to another with paperwork from Karl's work.  We proceeded with the planning.

At the same time, Kody's Odyssey of the Mind team was doing well.  They won the regional competition in March and we headed to the State competition in April.  We delayed making our travel plans for India not knowing if the team would qualify for the World Competition in Iowa the end of May.  That would affect when we left for India.  When the team took 1st place and we decided we were going to World's, we adjusted out trip.  Karl would leave May 15th for Bangalore and the kids and I would leave May 27th for Iowa for a week.  We would then fly directly from Des Moines to London.  We'd spend 4 nights sightseeing in London and visiting our friends, the Bromfields.  We would then fly to Amsterdam where we would stay with one of my former students and her family just north of the city.  We'd also have time to see the Anne Frank House and visit sites from Fault in Our Stars.

On the 11 of June we would fly to Bangalore to join Karl.  This would put is in India simultaneously with Grace's VBS.  The mission emphasis is in India so we would be able to Skype in live from India wearing our Weird Animals shirt.  This would be a consolation prize for missing my first full VBS in 16 years.  Karl had planned to take a week off near the end of June so we could travel north to the  golden triangle of India and visit the Taj Mahal.  How cool would it be to see this on my birthday when 8 years ago we climbed the Eiffel Tower on my birthday?

We had planned to leave India and visit my cousins, Randy and Vickii, in Kunming, China on the way home.  We have been dreaming of visiting them and seeing their city, friends, and opportunities for so many years.  We'd arrive back in Tucson just in time for Hannah's band camp and Kody's church camp.  I'd have a few days to prepare for the new school year.

That was the plan.

In mid April we began to get worried that our visas hadn't come back yet.  Silly delays that made no sense.  If we didn't have our visas back, we couldn't send them away again to get the Chinese visas.  End of April came and we had to buy one way tickets to Des Moines to ensure we got into the city along with 800 other teams from around the world.  I planned our round the world flight to begin in Des Moines and end in Phoenix.  We began to get nervous that there wasn't time to get Chinese visas in time for our trip.  We planned contingencies.  A.  We could route our trip to Thailand where we would get our visas from the consulate in Bangkok and take a separate discount airline into Kunming.  or B.  As soon as landed in Bangalore we would send our passports back to our friend in the US who would send them in for visas.  When she got them back, she would overnight them back to us in India.  Both of these had their drawbacks.  We did not feel a peace about either option.  I didn't want to leave the kids in Bangkok to spend the day at the embassy hoping we could get visas and we didn't want to surrender passports in India which would keep us from traveling north the way we had planned to do with Karl.  So we prayerfully and sadly decided to not go to China.  When we took this off the table it immediately saved $6,500 in airfare and $1,000 in visa fees. I used an internet site that specializes in round the world travel to book our Des Moines/ London/Amsterdam/Bangalore/Phoenix trip..  They helped me get our trip simplified so we only used one airline and the cost down a little bit to just at $10,000 for the four of us.  They were extremely helpful, calling me several times at home and work with helpful suggestions to make our trip better.  I was impressed with their customer service for an online company.

As the days pushed on it became clear that Karl had to push back his date of departure.  Instead of the 15th, he would plan to leave the 21st.  We proceeded with our shots, pills, and pre-trip doctor visits. Karl had had a mark on the side of his head that had gotten a bit bigger this year that I had been nagging him to have checked.  The kids saw their pediatrician for check ups and shots.  We all started typhoid and malaria pills.  Karl's doc said the mark on his head was hereditary and nothing to worry about.  His dad has the same exact spot.  I was relieved.  Karl's doc also ordered a colonoscopy.   With his departure date pushed back to the next week and assurances our visas were indeed on their way, he made the appointment and told me on Tuesday, "I'm having a colonoscopy on Friday."  "Really?  Friday is not good for me.  I'm on a field trip and can't take off to take you.  Plus Thursday is jam packed and you'll be stuck close to home the whole entire day!!.  Kody has a back to back drum lesson right before his band concert.  We're carpooling with another family and my report cards are due the next day so I will have to stay at work til they are done.  Is there any way you can reschedule this until after our trip??"  His answer, "No, I just want to get it over with."  I asked him several times to reschedule because it was such a crazy week.

So we got through the crazy packed week.  I dressed up in my Ma Ingalls get up and took my class to the frontier schoolhouse in Tubac for the day.  My dad took Karl to the appointment.  On the bus ride on the way home from Tubac I got an email that said the procedure went well and he woke up fine.  However the doc found a few things that would affect our travel plans.  My gut hurt.  As soon as I got back to school another teacher took my class and I called home.  

He said what I had dreaded.  They found cancer. A 7 1/2 cm malignant tumor in his colon.   It's not life threatening but they have to get it out.

My head is reeling.  We tell the kids.  We tell my mom.  Dad had taped the entire conversation with the doctor knowing I wasn't there and Karl was still a bit groggy.  We listen to his words again.   An hour later we're hosting the Cub Scout end of year potluck and sleepover.  Karl sees no reason to cancel when the boys have been looking forward to it.

This was one week ago.  Honeywell cancelled the bubble.  They cancelled our apartment and Karl's flight.  However things didn't go as smoothly for our travel arrangements.  I had turned down the travel insurance for our trip.  The airline says the tickets are nonrefundable.  The good thing is they can be rerouted on different dates as long as we complete travel by next May AND we only use British Airways flights .AND we rebook them before June 1st AND we have a modest change fee of $1,600.  The apartment in London was only refundable if they can re-let it for the same nights.  We now need to buy one way tickets home from Iowa.

At work on Monday, I chatted with a former class parent who specializes in cancer research.  Her husband just so happens to be the CFO of Arizona Oncology.  One text and he made a phone call.  Karl now has an appointment with the top doc on Wednesday morning to go over CT results.  Karl had the CT on Tuesday and low and behold, our visas arrived on our doorstep on Tuesday afternoon.

So instead of flying out Wednesday morning, Karl and I visited the oncologist.  He showed us the results of the CT.  Preliminary views do not show the cancer in any other organs.  They won't know definitively if it has spread until the surgery.  We made an appointment to meet the surgeon for next Wednesday.  She will set the surgery date for the first week of June.  This will give me and Skylar a few days to go with Kody to Iowa for the OM World Finals.  Hannah will stay with Karl.

Several restless and sleepless nights.  Wednesday morning I woke up with a moment of total clarity.  God laid three words on my heart:  perspective, gratitude, and trust.  In January I had picked the word "being" for my Word For the Year.  I chose Psalms 46:10 for my verse.  "Be still and know that I am God."   This morning I totally understood that I need to focus on Christ.  Take my eyes off the waves crashing around me.  Trust Him to hold me...hold us.  This could be so much worse.  We caught it early.  God continues to show His care for us as we follow Him on this path.  Perspective.  Gratitude.  Trust.  3 more WFTYs.  Thank you Scot Gillan for saying it was ok to have more than one at a time.

We left the doc's office and decided to take advantage of the rest of the day off.  How often do we get a beautiful spring day to spend together?  We hopped on the bikes and rode up the twisty, cool, not-even-crowded road to Mt. Lemmon.  Lunch at the top.  As I listened to praise music in my helmet, I realized that I have a dozen friends who would pay way more than $10,000 and interrupted travel plans to go back in time and get an early diagnosis.

What we are experiencing is a gift.  A gift of early detection. We needed to plan the trip so he would finally get into the doctor for a check up.  He needed the opportunity to share symptoms that may or may not be anything but let's check and see. I'm embarrassed that I was so whiny about the inconvenience of the appointment.  I'm thankful Karl did not relent to my requests to postpone it.  God worked in spite of me and my agenda.  This time I'm thankful he was a little stubborn.

 We needed the delay in the visas to decide not to spend the money on the China tickets and Chinese visas.  Let's not even discuss what would have happened if we had routed though Thailand.  If we used the original itinerary I had planned on, we could have flown through any number of cities using at least 7 different airlines.  We would have been in Moscow, Kuala Lumpur. or Kathmandu. All of these airlines would have had policies that don't allow rerouting.

So now we're only dealing with one airline.  Yes, they are refusing to give us any extra time to reroute our trip.  We must book by June 1st.  The travel agency is bending over backwards to help us.  They've waved most of their fees so now we only owe the airline an additional $1,200.  We are now looking at rebooking this trip for the fall..... if we can get travel insurance for preexisting conditions.  

The hard part is not knowing what is going to happen after surgery.  It could be that they take out the section of Karl's colon and that will be all.  He will have 3 weeks off work and relatively simple recovery.  Honeywell has left open the offer to complete the bubble in the fall.  We could possibly join him for a few weeks surrounding our fall break.  It would be difficult to miss school, but we could make it happen.

If he does end up needing chemo, it could be up to 6 months of treatment.  We wouldn't do the bubble.  We would plan a "we kicked cancer's bondoonie tour" for spring break.  We had purchased a week at a timeshare in Hawaii that we need to use before next summer.  We were hoping to use frequent flier miles from this epic summer trip to take care of some of the Hawaii travel.  So here's the kicker.....  If we can't bubble in the fall and we use the travel insurance to move the tickets to the spring.... we can only use British Airways.  They don't travel to Hawaii from the US so we would have to go to Hawaii via London.  And back.  Not exactly the best use of our travel dollar, but it beats wasting it.

School ended on Thursday and we were given notice that 4 of the teachers are being RIFed.  Reduction in Force.  We are all filling out rating sheets to be ranked according to experience, degrees and certifications, performance evaluations, student test scores, and the number of sick days we've taken.  I have no idea where I fall.  I'm new to the district.  It's a mess.  Our school numbers have dropped with no thanks to the new charter school opening down the road.

So much we could stress out about.  Cancer sucks.  Airlines don't show compassion.  Nobody wants to be RIFed.  But through all of it, my God is faithful.  He always has been and will continue to be.  Even in the storm.  Especially in the storm.  We saw crud like this before when we didn't know if Kody would be ok.  The doc said he had 4 major heart defects that would be life altering. Within a day, they "mysteriously" turned into only one very fixable heart defect.  And through the first few months of his life, we saw God's hand of provision in the form of doctors, nurses, friends, and family.  People flooded us with anything we would need.  My brother took a fancy to Kody's nurse- then married her a year later.  Now they have three beautiful children.  God used that yucky heart defect to work miracles in our family.

In the next two weeks,  please keep Karl in your prayers as he faces surgery and the biopsy.   Were asking God that it all be contained and easily removed.  He seems to be taking it more on stride than I am.  The engineer side of him looks at it all methodically and asks what step is next.  I'm more of the raving madwoman.  

We have appreciated the encouragement and love we've seen from so many dear friends this week.  We love you and are thankful for you.  Continue to let Karl feel some love!  

God continues to make beautiful things out of dust.  Out of the crud this world throws at us.  Because I've seen it before, I have faith that He will do it again.  He's got a plan for Karl and our family.  We don't know exactly what it looks like from here.  Karl and I prayed tonight sitting on the rock in the backyard watching the sunset that God would find us faithful to Him in this journey. That we would be able to speak of His love and goodness to those who don't usually pay Him any mind.   May people take one step closer to Christ because of these trials.  For only in trusting Him have we found any semblance of peace.  We can't wait to watch Him show off.  Wait for it...Wait for it....

to be continued.....