Saturday, May 24, 2014

Our 2014 Epic Summer Adventure.... not quite what we were expecting.....

Last summer Karl spent a few weeks in Bangalore, India.  During that visit, he was invited to complete a "bubble assignment":  working on site for three months.  We discussed what it would be like for our family and decided to say yes.  Karl would work for three months over the summer and the kids and I would come when school was out for 2 months.

We filled out the paperwork and got the initial approvals.  Since we already had passports, we filed for Indian Visas.  The company agreed to pay for my travel and the housing for our family.  We'd cover the kids' travel.  It would be a big expense but we felt living overseas would be an educational experience.  By February and March, things were a go and we were excited.  We sent away for our visas expecting them back in a few weeks.  One delay led to another with paperwork from Karl's work.  We proceeded with the planning.

At the same time, Kody's Odyssey of the Mind team was doing well.  They won the regional competition in March and we headed to the State competition in April.  We delayed making our travel plans for India not knowing if the team would qualify for the World Competition in Iowa the end of May.  That would affect when we left for India.  When the team took 1st place and we decided we were going to World's, we adjusted out trip.  Karl would leave May 15th for Bangalore and the kids and I would leave May 27th for Iowa for a week.  We would then fly directly from Des Moines to London.  We'd spend 4 nights sightseeing in London and visiting our friends, the Bromfields.  We would then fly to Amsterdam where we would stay with one of my former students and her family just north of the city.  We'd also have time to see the Anne Frank House and visit sites from Fault in Our Stars.

On the 11 of June we would fly to Bangalore to join Karl.  This would put is in India simultaneously with Grace's VBS.  The mission emphasis is in India so we would be able to Skype in live from India wearing our Weird Animals shirt.  This would be a consolation prize for missing my first full VBS in 16 years.  Karl had planned to take a week off near the end of June so we could travel north to the  golden triangle of India and visit the Taj Mahal.  How cool would it be to see this on my birthday when 8 years ago we climbed the Eiffel Tower on my birthday?

We had planned to leave India and visit my cousins, Randy and Vickii, in Kunming, China on the way home.  We have been dreaming of visiting them and seeing their city, friends, and opportunities for so many years.  We'd arrive back in Tucson just in time for Hannah's band camp and Kody's church camp.  I'd have a few days to prepare for the new school year.

That was the plan.

In mid April we began to get worried that our visas hadn't come back yet.  Silly delays that made no sense.  If we didn't have our visas back, we couldn't send them away again to get the Chinese visas.  End of April came and we had to buy one way tickets to Des Moines to ensure we got into the city along with 800 other teams from around the world.  I planned our round the world flight to begin in Des Moines and end in Phoenix.  We began to get nervous that there wasn't time to get Chinese visas in time for our trip.  We planned contingencies.  A.  We could route our trip to Thailand where we would get our visas from the consulate in Bangkok and take a separate discount airline into Kunming.  or B.  As soon as landed in Bangalore we would send our passports back to our friend in the US who would send them in for visas.  When she got them back, she would overnight them back to us in India.  Both of these had their drawbacks.  We did not feel a peace about either option.  I didn't want to leave the kids in Bangkok to spend the day at the embassy hoping we could get visas and we didn't want to surrender passports in India which would keep us from traveling north the way we had planned to do with Karl.  So we prayerfully and sadly decided to not go to China.  When we took this off the table it immediately saved $6,500 in airfare and $1,000 in visa fees. I used an internet site that specializes in round the world travel to book our Des Moines/ London/Amsterdam/Bangalore/Phoenix trip..  They helped me get our trip simplified so we only used one airline and the cost down a little bit to just at $10,000 for the four of us.  They were extremely helpful, calling me several times at home and work with helpful suggestions to make our trip better.  I was impressed with their customer service for an online company.

As the days pushed on it became clear that Karl had to push back his date of departure.  Instead of the 15th, he would plan to leave the 21st.  We proceeded with our shots, pills, and pre-trip doctor visits. Karl had had a mark on the side of his head that had gotten a bit bigger this year that I had been nagging him to have checked.  The kids saw their pediatrician for check ups and shots.  We all started typhoid and malaria pills.  Karl's doc said the mark on his head was hereditary and nothing to worry about.  His dad has the same exact spot.  I was relieved.  Karl's doc also ordered a colonoscopy.   With his departure date pushed back to the next week and assurances our visas were indeed on their way, he made the appointment and told me on Tuesday, "I'm having a colonoscopy on Friday."  "Really?  Friday is not good for me.  I'm on a field trip and can't take off to take you.  Plus Thursday is jam packed and you'll be stuck close to home the whole entire day!!.  Kody has a back to back drum lesson right before his band concert.  We're carpooling with another family and my report cards are due the next day so I will have to stay at work til they are done.  Is there any way you can reschedule this until after our trip??"  His answer, "No, I just want to get it over with."  I asked him several times to reschedule because it was such a crazy week.

So we got through the crazy packed week.  I dressed up in my Ma Ingalls get up and took my class to the frontier schoolhouse in Tubac for the day.  My dad took Karl to the appointment.  On the bus ride on the way home from Tubac I got an email that said the procedure went well and he woke up fine.  However the doc found a few things that would affect our travel plans.  My gut hurt.  As soon as I got back to school another teacher took my class and I called home.  

He said what I had dreaded.  They found cancer. A 7 1/2 cm malignant tumor in his colon.   It's not life threatening but they have to get it out.

My head is reeling.  We tell the kids.  We tell my mom.  Dad had taped the entire conversation with the doctor knowing I wasn't there and Karl was still a bit groggy.  We listen to his words again.   An hour later we're hosting the Cub Scout end of year potluck and sleepover.  Karl sees no reason to cancel when the boys have been looking forward to it.

This was one week ago.  Honeywell cancelled the bubble.  They cancelled our apartment and Karl's flight.  However things didn't go as smoothly for our travel arrangements.  I had turned down the travel insurance for our trip.  The airline says the tickets are nonrefundable.  The good thing is they can be rerouted on different dates as long as we complete travel by next May AND we only use British Airways flights .AND we rebook them before June 1st AND we have a modest change fee of $1,600.  The apartment in London was only refundable if they can re-let it for the same nights.  We now need to buy one way tickets home from Iowa.

At work on Monday, I chatted with a former class parent who specializes in cancer research.  Her husband just so happens to be the CFO of Arizona Oncology.  One text and he made a phone call.  Karl now has an appointment with the top doc on Wednesday morning to go over CT results.  Karl had the CT on Tuesday and low and behold, our visas arrived on our doorstep on Tuesday afternoon.

So instead of flying out Wednesday morning, Karl and I visited the oncologist.  He showed us the results of the CT.  Preliminary views do not show the cancer in any other organs.  They won't know definitively if it has spread until the surgery.  We made an appointment to meet the surgeon for next Wednesday.  She will set the surgery date for the first week of June.  This will give me and Skylar a few days to go with Kody to Iowa for the OM World Finals.  Hannah will stay with Karl.

Several restless and sleepless nights.  Wednesday morning I woke up with a moment of total clarity.  God laid three words on my heart:  perspective, gratitude, and trust.  In January I had picked the word "being" for my Word For the Year.  I chose Psalms 46:10 for my verse.  "Be still and know that I am God."   This morning I totally understood that I need to focus on Christ.  Take my eyes off the waves crashing around me.  Trust Him to hold me...hold us.  This could be so much worse.  We caught it early.  God continues to show His care for us as we follow Him on this path.  Perspective.  Gratitude.  Trust.  3 more WFTYs.  Thank you Scot Gillan for saying it was ok to have more than one at a time.

We left the doc's office and decided to take advantage of the rest of the day off.  How often do we get a beautiful spring day to spend together?  We hopped on the bikes and rode up the twisty, cool, not-even-crowded road to Mt. Lemmon.  Lunch at the top.  As I listened to praise music in my helmet, I realized that I have a dozen friends who would pay way more than $10,000 and interrupted travel plans to go back in time and get an early diagnosis.

What we are experiencing is a gift.  A gift of early detection. We needed to plan the trip so he would finally get into the doctor for a check up.  He needed the opportunity to share symptoms that may or may not be anything but let's check and see. I'm embarrassed that I was so whiny about the inconvenience of the appointment.  I'm thankful Karl did not relent to my requests to postpone it.  God worked in spite of me and my agenda.  This time I'm thankful he was a little stubborn.

 We needed the delay in the visas to decide not to spend the money on the China tickets and Chinese visas.  Let's not even discuss what would have happened if we had routed though Thailand.  If we used the original itinerary I had planned on, we could have flown through any number of cities using at least 7 different airlines.  We would have been in Moscow, Kuala Lumpur. or Kathmandu. All of these airlines would have had policies that don't allow rerouting.

So now we're only dealing with one airline.  Yes, they are refusing to give us any extra time to reroute our trip.  We must book by June 1st.  The travel agency is bending over backwards to help us.  They've waved most of their fees so now we only owe the airline an additional $1,200.  We are now looking at rebooking this trip for the fall..... if we can get travel insurance for preexisting conditions.  

The hard part is not knowing what is going to happen after surgery.  It could be that they take out the section of Karl's colon and that will be all.  He will have 3 weeks off work and relatively simple recovery.  Honeywell has left open the offer to complete the bubble in the fall.  We could possibly join him for a few weeks surrounding our fall break.  It would be difficult to miss school, but we could make it happen.

If he does end up needing chemo, it could be up to 6 months of treatment.  We wouldn't do the bubble.  We would plan a "we kicked cancer's bondoonie tour" for spring break.  We had purchased a week at a timeshare in Hawaii that we need to use before next summer.  We were hoping to use frequent flier miles from this epic summer trip to take care of some of the Hawaii travel.  So here's the kicker.....  If we can't bubble in the fall and we use the travel insurance to move the tickets to the spring.... we can only use British Airways.  They don't travel to Hawaii from the US so we would have to go to Hawaii via London.  And back.  Not exactly the best use of our travel dollar, but it beats wasting it.

School ended on Thursday and we were given notice that 4 of the teachers are being RIFed.  Reduction in Force.  We are all filling out rating sheets to be ranked according to experience, degrees and certifications, performance evaluations, student test scores, and the number of sick days we've taken.  I have no idea where I fall.  I'm new to the district.  It's a mess.  Our school numbers have dropped with no thanks to the new charter school opening down the road.

So much we could stress out about.  Cancer sucks.  Airlines don't show compassion.  Nobody wants to be RIFed.  But through all of it, my God is faithful.  He always has been and will continue to be.  Even in the storm.  Especially in the storm.  We saw crud like this before when we didn't know if Kody would be ok.  The doc said he had 4 major heart defects that would be life altering. Within a day, they "mysteriously" turned into only one very fixable heart defect.  And through the first few months of his life, we saw God's hand of provision in the form of doctors, nurses, friends, and family.  People flooded us with anything we would need.  My brother took a fancy to Kody's nurse- then married her a year later.  Now they have three beautiful children.  God used that yucky heart defect to work miracles in our family.

In the next two weeks,  please keep Karl in your prayers as he faces surgery and the biopsy.   Were asking God that it all be contained and easily removed.  He seems to be taking it more on stride than I am.  The engineer side of him looks at it all methodically and asks what step is next.  I'm more of the raving madwoman.  

We have appreciated the encouragement and love we've seen from so many dear friends this week.  We love you and are thankful for you.  Continue to let Karl feel some love!  

God continues to make beautiful things out of dust.  Out of the crud this world throws at us.  Because I've seen it before, I have faith that He will do it again.  He's got a plan for Karl and our family.  We don't know exactly what it looks like from here.  Karl and I prayed tonight sitting on the rock in the backyard watching the sunset that God would find us faithful to Him in this journey. That we would be able to speak of His love and goodness to those who don't usually pay Him any mind.   May people take one step closer to Christ because of these trials.  For only in trusting Him have we found any semblance of peace.  We can't wait to watch Him show off.  Wait for it...Wait for it....

to be continued.....

7 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this! You are right, God does make beautiful things of dust. And your family is one of those beautiful things!

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  2. An incredible unfolding story you have shared with us Meta. I fell to weeping at the final end of your comments...We Wait, We Wait. Such fierce love and belief in our Lord Jesus Christ. I can only pray beside you on that Rock that his hand guides your family through all of this. Of course our prayers will be for ALL of you as you travel through this plan God has set for you. Strength, hope and love to be shared to all of you. I'll look forward to the next chapter of this ordeal with anticipation of an excellent prognosis for Karl and that some sort of trip plans came be set in stone. Stay strong, all of you! Know you are cared for by so many, especially the Man at the head of your family table. Jesus.

    Leisa and Jerry Bailey

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  3. Your family is so important to us. We love and respect you and Karl more than words could ever express. Your faith is inspiring and I would expect nothing less from a family who is continuously overflowing with love and kindness for others. The Dooling Family is praying very hard for you all. We are always here for anything you need. Thank you for sharing your story. As I read it, I could see how God was working and how everything worked toward an early diagnosis. What a precious gift. God Bless you all. Love, The Dooling Family

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  4. Love you all so much we will keep praying and seeing God do mighty things for you and through you.

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  5. Cancer does suck! I love your family and will be praying for all of you.

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  6. God is good, all the time! Aren't we lucky to have such faith in an awesome God? Imagine if we didn't. We are praying for all of you! Please ask us for anything you need!
    Blessings, The Watsons

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  7. Meta, thank your for sharing. Will be in prayer. We love you guys! What an amazing revelation and outlook!

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